The daily Advent

The Our Father is a prayer taught to us by Jesus Christ himself. I pray it several times a day. In it every day I say "Adveniat Regnum Tuum", Thy Kingdom Come! It is like waiting for the Messiah and for his kingdom to come every day. Last week we celebrated Christ the King and today we're beginning Advent. What better time to start taking this petition more seriously and to transform my life accordingly? I complain about all the evil that is happening around me, but I can be sure that the real evil is that which is within me and the part of me that Christ has not conquered yet.

Christ can only transform me if I let him do it. This time of Advent only makes sense if it is a time of personal encounter with him and a preparation of our hearts for his coming. By preparing for the reliving of the first coming of Christ I am also preparing for his second coming, when he comes "to judge the living and the dead".

As of today I can start to live my every day as an Advent, and hopefully when Jesus comes again I can say: Thy Kingdom has Come!

A sacrifice a day keeps the devil away

St Michael Archangel fighting Satan

Today my daughter, who is only four, said that she drank her orange juice, which she does not particularly like and offered it up to God for one of her little friends who was sick at home.

We have forgotten the value of sacrifice in God's eyes. Most of the time we flee from anything that presents the slightest discomfort to us. When it's too cold we put the heating on; when the food is tasteless we put some salt on it; when the tea is not sweet enough we put sugar in it, and so on. When we cannot change something and it is absolutely inevitable to suffer, then there is always the last resource: complain about it, and make sure that everybody around me knows about my suffering.

Even some Catholics who make sacrifices think of choosing an aspect of their lives in which they make it. Often these mortifications are related to eating habits (or bad habits one wants to get rid of), because you can kill two birds with one stone, you know. It is never harmful to lose a few pounds while you strengthen your spiritual muscles. WRONG!

The real sacrifices are right there in front of my eyes every day, and I don't need to plan out a diet to make a sacrifice. How about just not complaining about the weather or the food? How about just doing my duties as a parent or at work with diligence without looking for easy solutions or shortcuts?

Does not the devil want us to have everything our way? How better can we prepare ourselves to enter the narrow gate if not by pruning ourselves and our desires, which tend to place us always at the centre. The person that makes a sacrifice and offers it to God places him in the centre instead of himself. There is no better way of preparing to resist temptation and to keep Satan away then the Sacraments, prayer and sacrifices.

My daughter's was a great example of a simple little sacrifice we can all make, and are called to make every day. There is a virtually infinite number, but here are some concrete ones just in case you need some ideas:

• Wake up a few minutes early and spend that time in prayer
• Give my full attention to my wife or children when they want to speak with me during my 'me time'
• Offer to do the dishes after meal
• Make a positive comment about someone I don't get along with at work
• Make a visit to a church or chapel when I walk by next time
• Next time you are at mass pay attention and be fully present

There is a great blog about Fr William Doyle, an Irish Jesuit priest, who also served as a chaplain in World War I, and who lived an extraordinary ascetic life. His many writings reveal how sacrifice and self-conquering can lead to spiritual perfection.

You cannot receive Christ like that! Kneeling or standing?

Some time ago I read a leaflet, which explained that Pope Benedict started to distribute Holy Communion on the tongue and kneeling only. He has done this to promote greater reverence toward the Eucharist, and to help the communicants to express with the external posture the internal attitude that ought to be present in the believer. Sometimes I go to the Traditional Mass, where Communion is only given in this way, and also I used to attend the Novus Ordo with a community where it was the custom too, so it was nothing new to me, but it was phrased with such simplicity and such beauty that it really struck me. If I really believe that the Creator of the universe and the Savior of mankind is coming to me, what other posture can I assume? It got me thinking not only about kneeling for Communion, but my whole attitude during mass. Isn't the Blessed Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit the most important thing in my life? If yes, then isn't mass the best thing I can offer to God?

Unfortunately it is very rare to see real reverence and love for Christ in the Eucharist. To receive Christ in hand and standing has become the norm. Do we not contradict ourselves in saying "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof" and then going up to communicate without making any outward sign of acknowledgment of the Son in the Eucharist? Crossing ourselves? Genuflecting? Bowing? I decided that I would kneel down to receive Communion from then on.

I did not have to wait for long to be corrected. 

Once when I went up to receive the Lord and knelt down the priest refused to give me Communion. He instructed me to stand up, which I did for peace's sake, but it would be hard to describe the way I felt. The worst thing was that after  mass the priest came to me and started to correct me as if there was a problem with me. Was he not aware of what the Church officially prescribes regarding this matter?

The General Instruction of the Roman Missal deals with the posture for Holy Communion in no.160. The English translation has already been adapted to the specific countries, and the norm of the United States is to receive Communion standing, "unless an individual member of the faithful wishes to receive Communion while kneeling" (GIRM 160). The original Latin text says that the faithful will receive Communion standing or kneeling, as it has been established by the Episcopal Conference.

Little known is the fact that the Episcopal Conference can only establish the preferred way. If the bishops of a country want standing to be established as the preferred way, they need to refer the matter to the Holy See, which needs to approve the request. This is only done on the condition that the faithful remain free to kneel for Communion if they wish to.

I have done a little research, and I came across some clarification given by Cardinal Arinze. He deals with this question with great clarity and, as the Prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of Sacraments, with authority also.

A papal pardon. Why not? - Why? Not!

Canon lawyer Edward Peters offered some points of reflection on apossiblepapal pardon being accorded to Paolo Gabriele, which was speculated by some after the pope sent him a book of psalms.

Dr Peters quotes a paragraph from the book-length interview of Peter Seewald with Pope Benedict: "After the mid-sixties [punishment] was simply not applied any more. The prevailing mentality was that the Church must not be a Church of laws but, rather, a Church of love; she must not punish. Thus the awareness that punishment can be an act of love ceased to exist. This led to an odd darkening of the mind, even in very good people. Today we have to learn all over again that love for the sinner and love for the person who has been harmed are correctly balanced if I punish the sinner in the form that is possible and appropriate. In this respect there was in the past a change of mentality, in which the law and the need for punishment were obscured. Ultimately this also narrowed the concept of love, which in fact is not just being nice or courteous, but is found in the truth. And another component of truth is that I must punish the one who has sinned against real love." Light of the World: A Conversation with Peter Seewald (Ignatius Press, 2010) 25-26.

Peters concludes: "Personally, I don’t see the pope’s sending a devotional book to Gabriele as a sign of coming leniency; I see it more as a sign of continuing love. Benedict was the victim of a very serious crime, but he still loves the offender. The pope seeks Gabriele’s personal good but, precisely as pope, Benedict also has the future of the papal office to consider; pardoning Gabriele could well make the next pope’s job that much harder to perform—and who knows better than Benedict how hard it already is to be pope?"

I fully agree with Dr Peters. I work in a boarding school, where I am a member of the board that makes the rules and enforces them too. Infringement of certain rules deserves a punishment. Sometimes this punishment is given with a saddened heart, and the student might also be truly sorry. When the student is punished because of disrespect with a teacher or a figure of authority he usually apologizes before the punishment is applied and we forgive him, but not for that reason do we take away the punishment.

Does not the same apply at home? Punishing our children does not mean that we do not love them. In fact, we punish them not out of retribution, but looking for their greater good out of love. Punishment is part of authentic and formative love. It propels toward perfection. I think that the pope also instructs us how to love authentically. He does love Gabriele, but knows that a papal pardon would not be the appropriate expression of love.

By not talking about important realities (since the mid-sixties), such as judgment and hell haven't we gotten used to a 'nice God', who ultimately does not care what we do, a God that does not demand a virtuous life? May the Lord grant us the grace to understand this formative aspect of love.

The shortest Christmas wish list

If you asked some of the contestants for the Miss Universe title what their deepest desire is, they would probably answer ‘World peace”. If you asked them to even write it down, it would be something like “World piece” (sorry Miss Universe, but I know you have a good sense of humor, and you may not be one of these ladies anyway).

A courageous parish priest’s request to his parishioners to go to confession instead of giving him Christmas presents was very well received both in his parish (pretty remarkable!) and in the Catholic blogosphere. This is a priest who has his priorities right. Well done, father! It is soothing for the soul to hear some good news amidst the sea of bad ones we get every day.

What else could a priest ask for?

Even though this good news broke some days ago already, it kept coming back to my mind. What else could a priest ask for Christmas? The mission of a priest is to bring souls to heaven, many of whom would be lost without him. The priest brings Christ to the faithful by administering the sacraments. So, it is clear that the only way to Christmas is repentance and the cleaning of one’s soul. We spend so much time to prepare the house for Christmas: the house is decorated, the tree is set, gifts are bought etc. But the real preparation must be inside. To make an appeal similar to that of our brave priest is the only right wish a parish priest can make. It is not a vague, utopian wish like world peace, but a concrete one, which resounds in the heart of each. Priests, be courageous and challenge us!

Not only priests

As Catholics we are all called to work for the salvation of souls, starting with our own. My fellow Catholics, the greatest gift we can give our priests for Christmas is that we go to confession. Any Catholic taking their faith seriously should prefer the salvation of a single soul over any material gift however valuable, and should never make compromises or put their salvation in jeopardy because of any material good.

To see if I have my priorities right I need to answer this simple question: what is my most inner desire for Christmas?

3 reasons why I don't want to be like James Bond

007 is super cool. Not only has he got all the money he needs to travel around and drive the best cars; not only does he have the coolest gadgets to obtain information, trace down people or eliminate them; he is also in control of the situation... always... even when he is not. He is the hero that the creators want the audience to aspire to be like.

James Bond does offer good entertainment, and I must confess that I do enjoy the Bond movies, but there are three main reasons why I would not like to be like him besides for all the danger and thrill he goes through, which I would probably not enjoy if I was in his shoes.

1) No matter how well he gets along with people or how well he can socialize, James Bond is utterly lonely and unsettled.

2) Even though James Bond is always in control of the situation, he falls for women. True, he is not a womanizer, at least not if you only watch one episode at a time, but overall he has been 'romantically involved' (as it is euphemistically put nowadays) with way too many women to be called a faithful type.

3) The highest ideals James Bond pursues are of this world. Plain and simple. We are not surprised or shocked by this fact, given that those movies where supernatural ideals are pursued are the exception to the rule.

My 007 friend has already got a special place on the theater screens and in the media, but my real heroes have a special place in my heart.

Unity with Christ and the Church

When we hear the siren of an ambulance we always pray a Hail Mary and a little prayer for the person that is ill, which goes: "God, please help the sick". This is something we do with the children every time. Their little ears are so trained to the sound of the siren that sometimes we only notice that they are praying even though we did not even notice the ambulance passing by. It is a great way to ask for the necessary graces for the person in need. There was a period in which my daughter used to ask why we had to pray for the sick. We would tell her that we prayed for healing. 

On our way to mass today we saw an ambulance, and my children immediately started to pray. However, after the Hail Mary, my daughter did not say the usual prayer, but instead she said: "Jesus, please help the person to come to the Church". There is something beautiful about this, and it shows how she has a grasp of something fundamentally true and important. The person is first and foremost needs to be reconciled with God and the Church; we all need to be spiritually sound, in communion with the Church. Physical health and healing are only of secondary importance.

Dominic Savio captured it with such eloquence as one of his resolutions made at his First Communion: "Death rather than sin". I will stay united with Christ and his Church rather than commit even a venial sin. In fact, detachment from sin is a minimum requirement for each and every Catholic. I cannot claim to be a Catholic and take delight in what is sinful. Yes, sin is inevitable, but it cannot be wanted for its sake.

The siren or the church bells will once sound for me, and I would like someone to have taught their children to say a little prayer for me. If it be God's will then for my physical healing, but most importantly for my union with Christ.

Rosary Vs Radio

You do not need to be an executive to live a busy life. I am not an executive, but I cannot recall the last time I was bored because I had nothing to do. Work, family and my PhD keep me quite busy. Finding time for prayer and to creat the proper environment is always a challenge.

A few weeks ago I had my radio disconnected from my car, because it drained my battery and I did not want to spend money on getting it fixed. Since then my car has become exclusively a place of prayer and reflection; my little monastery on four wheels. I had prayed in my car before, but sometimes I'd just turn on the radio to catch up with some news or to listen to music. Besides for the rosary I can also do some spiritual reading, or better said spiritual listening, on my iPhone. I put on my headset and let it roll. My favorite 'readings' are those of Archbishop Fulton Sheen. He teaches sound Church doctrine without compromise, and challenges me without the slightest willingness to bend the teachings for my comfort.

Of course, prayer life cannot be limited exclusively to the car and there is a need to find time for prayer at home in family, and I do find time to pray at home. As a pater familias I need to be deeply rooted spiritually and the time spent with God cannot only be the time spend in prayer with the kids. If I want Christ to be the motor of my thoughts and actions, I need to get to know him and his heart, I need to get to know his Church and her teachings. So, why not use the car?!

Please, do not disconnect your radio in your car after reading this, but you might want to consider spending 15 minutes in silence with the Lord while you're on the road.

How do you answer the best questions of your children?

Anna asked me the other day why Jesus had to die. She often asks about the soldiers that killed him. I have also been about suffering, pain and sickness. These are some of the best questions I have ever had to answer, but also some of the most difficult ones, because they are ultimately about the meaning of life. They are the deepest questions anybody can ask, but often adults do not have the courage to ask themselves.

As children grow older these questions change too, and maybe more concrete. Why can I not receive communion when I am in mortal sin? What is mortal sin anyway? What does the Church teach about capital punishment or self defense? How can God's love and justice be reconciled? Why does he condemn certain people to hell if he is a loving God? And the questions go on and on.

But how can I answer these questions? They usually come in unexpected moments without time to prepare to give the perfect answer. Even if I do know the answer I might ask myself several other questions related to the matter while I am giving the explanation, and I hope that my audience will not put them to me. One answer usually opens up a whole new world of questions. Peter warns: "Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope" (1Pt 3:15)

Unless I have the courage to inform myself about these matters I will be caught off guard. It takes courage, and yes, often humility to recognize my ignorance. Sometimes the answer is simple to find, while other times it may not be found summarized in a few sentences in a book, but need to be meditated upon.

There are some great resources that one can use to know how to respond to these 'big questions'. For any Catholic the Bible and the Catechism of the Catholic Church (or the Youcat, which is an easy-to-digest way of reading the Catechism, especially aimed to young people) are a must. While they are both  available online (I have not found the Youcat online yet), you really need a printed copy or at least one on your iPad. It is also important to have some book of apologetics. I have found Apologetics and Catholic Doctrine by Archbishop Michael Sheehan very useful, but there are other good ones available.

With a good, albeit small core 'library' I can start to answer my children's questions, and be their hero not only in games, but also of faith.

My ways and his ways

We were coming back from a daddy-children outing. Just the three of us. Anna was really tired and hungry. She was really looking forward to getting home and asked me how long it would take. I told her that we were really close. Somewhat relieved she asked: "4 minutes?" She knew that 4 minutes was not too much time, because when she gets time out it lasts 4 minutes. I told her "no, only about 2". She started to cry and told me that she could not wait for so long. When we got close enough for her to recognize the neighborhood, she rejoiced and started to count: "4, 5, 6, 7...". I was telling her what she wanted to hear but she did not understand me because she did not have a correct understanding of time.

Then I thought that it was funny how a similar dynamic could be present in and adult's relationship with God: I pray for something or ask for a special grace and I am not given the answer I am expecting. I get frustrated, I break down, I question God or even rebel against Him, just to realize later that God's answer was the one I really needed. How foolish of me to question God's love and wisdom! "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts." (Is 55,8-9) If you think about it, really who am I to judge the Lord and his ways? Instead I will be measured by his divine standard.

Isaiah continues: "For just as from the heavens the rain and snow come down and do not return there till they have watered the earth, making it fertile and fruitful, giving seed to him who sows and bread to him who eats, so shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; it shall not return to me void, but shall do my will, achieving the end for which I sent it." (10-11)

My conversation with God must bear fruit. His word cannot return to him empty. It must achieve the end for which it was sent. Because Jesus is the Word of God, this passage from the Old Testament is elevated into a new dimension: by receiving Jesus, God's Word in the Eucharist, he must transform my life and must become the source of my sanctification and the motor of my actions.

When I receive Jesus, the Word, I will also be more prompt to letting God's word through the Scripture and the Magisterium make me understand his ways. I can then rejoice when He says: "we'll be home in 2 minutes."

Can’t drop this

If you juggle with too many balls, sooner or later you are bound to drop some or all of them. It not a big problem to most of the balls, but there are a few key balls you cannot drop. This video captures the idea very well.

We know very well which the balls are that can endanger the ones that must be kept intact. This list could go on and on, but here are a few other examples not mentioned in the clip.

• Just surfing the web
• Hanging out with friends
• Being up-to-date with the latest technology
•  Golf, soccer and other hobbies
• Being up-to-minute with breaking news
• Making sure there is cold beer in the fridge

They are good and necessary too (in fact, someone might argue that it is the No. 1 challenge facing fathers today), they must be used well to keep the right balance in life. 

There is another category not mentioned in the video: it’s the “Must drop this!” They are all the sinful acts we do and habits we have, the most common ones being lazy and selfish. Imagine, if all Catholics had our priorities right and we dropped all our bad balls, made sure that our “God” and “neighbor” balls are always safe, and juggled with all the other balls when there is time and need for it, we would really be like leaven in the dough, and what a difference we could make. This must start at home with me, and it must start today!

Motivating children

The past few days have been rather difficult. It is as if my children had decided not to pay attention to my wife or to me. This is when one is tempted to become “Daddy Iron-fist”, and threaten with all kinds of consequences and give out punishments. But you can catch more flies with a drop of honey than with a barrel of vinegar. All you have to find is what honey is for your children.

The “Yes Mommy, yes Daddy” campaign had worked in the past, so we put it in practice again and it is showing results now. The goal is to get the children to obey promptly. We have drawn a mystery of the Rosary on a piece of paper and every time our kids obey when they find it hard to, they can put a sticker in the circle. This is a great source of motivation for them, because they know that they are making Our Blessed Mother and Jesus happy.

They also like to prepare the same campaign for themselves by drawing their own little circles on paper. Maybe they are not good enough to pray the Rosary on, but the cross on the bottom bead clearly indicates that they do it for Christ.

God is just, and hell is a reality for those who refuse to live their lives according to God’s will. Justice demands that there should also be negative consequences for certain actions, but the better motivated children are the less need there is for punishment.

Women are usually better to find out what motivates children. We daddies are not so much. But, hey, nowhere it is written on their good ideas: for women’s use only! Why not learn from them what is good, and even help them when they lack motivation?

Why is it great to be a Catholic dad?

If you went to mass this morning, I am sure the Gospel passage struck you as well. Someone asked Jesus: “Lord, will only a few people be saved?” The answer was not what probably an average Catholic would expect it to be. “Strive to enter through the narrow gate, for many, I tell you, will attempt to enter but will not be strong enough.” (Lk 13,22-30) Wow!!! In Jesus' own words many will go to hell.

So, why is it great to be a Catholic dad? Because you have the chance to help someone to get heaven in whose creation you collaborated with God. You have the opportunity to teach your kids how to enter through the narrow gate. In fact, this is not only an opportunity, but much more a duty. It’s so eloquently phrased in the recently issued Youcat: “We are here on earth in order to know and to love God, to do good according to his will, and to go someday to heaven.” (Section 1, Question 1)

Do you see the picture within the picture? We have to help our children to live out this vocation to love God and to follow his will in order to save our souls, which is our very vocation itself. By teaching them this simple but profound truth and helping them to understand this reality we are living out our vocation. A Catholic parent that fails to do this fails to enter the narrow gate. It is mostly done through our example. How hard this is at times, and how easy it is to skip morning or evening prayer in family, or before and after meals. How hard it is to show respect to others even when our blood is boiling; to be selfless and charitable with the family when they don’t let us snuggle up in our cave.

It is only great to be a Catholic dad if I strive to be a great Catholic dad… every day. That’s our challenge gentlemen!

The greatest inheritance and the greatest gift

My children are fascinated when I turn cherry tomatoes into sun-dried mangos, or when I pull one out from behind their ears. My son thinks daddy can do it any time, so he often appears holding a tomato in his little hand, asking me to turn it into what he really likes. This is my fishy way of doing transubstantiation.

This got me thinking of what was the greatest gift I could give my children. I can hardly be a magic trick, even if they show so much enthusiasm when I do it. It could be the time spent with my children, which is also precious, and it is definitely more of a gif, because it requires giving not only something I have, but the giving of my time and attention. Helping them acquire habits and grow in human virtues is even more important, as it does not only last in their memories, but will help them for life. However, it is only faith in Christ that will help them to reach eternal happiness.

Faith in Christ as Holy Mother Church teaches it has been passed down to us from the first followers of Christ, and it has been defended sometimes with apologetics, other times with sword, but always with firm conviction. This is the best I can give to my children too. At the end of the day what matters is whether they are saved or not.

While teaching the doctrine is essential, faith can't be handed down as a magic trick, and cannot be acquired from a textbook, but it needs to be lived out every day. It is how you pray, work, interact with family and entertain yourself.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and I think this one captures it quite well.

In the meantime I continue turning tomatoes into mangos. It might come in handy to give them a vague idea of the real transubstantiation.

The real Halloween

Today I took the kids to an All Saints party. There was one little problem though... the party was yesterday. When I got to the Faith and Family Centre (the location of the party) there was not a single car parked outside. I called my wife and told her what had happened (and BTW she had told me that the get-together was today). She suggested that I should ring up some really close friends and ask them if we could call in for a little All Saints fancy dress party. They said OK, and we arrived at their house less then 10 minutes later. To my amazement all the three of their daughters were already dressed up as saints: St Agnes, St Elizabeth of Hungary and St Kateri. Even their mom was dressed up as St Joan of Arc.

My daughter A. dressed up as Our Blessed Mother, holding baby Jesus in her arms, and she insisted that his brother M. would be dressed up as St Joseph. Being a terrible two that he is, he did not let us put the chequered table-cloth on his head with an old tie. He also refused to take the stick of a dustpan as his staff. He did not want to put on anything at all. I wish I had snapped a picture of him as he trew a tantrum. He ended up coming in a pair of trousers that were a bit too short for him and a pair of boots, which together gave the impression of a poor little boy from the 1920's. And then we knew which saint he was going to be: Lolek, aka Bl John Paul II as a boy!

Here is another little picture of A. dressed up as St Kateri on the day of her canonization. What a great way to prepare for All Hallows' Evening! The real Halloween... Blessed be God in his angels and in his saints!

The mysterious beggar

Yesterday I went to buy a new pair of trousers while my wife was with the children at the playground (remember, it was my turn for confession, which I had done just a few days before). It was one of the first really chilly days this year. Winter is definitely drawing near.

Across the street from the store a beggar was sitting on the ground asking for money. As I got closer I noticed that he was wearing only a sweater and a pair of shorts. He pulled up his knees to his chest and pulled down his sweater on his shin, all the way to his ankles. He was wearing no shoes and no socks either. He was shaking from the cold.

My first thought was that he surely had some extra clothes in the bag he had near him. But one thought came back insisting: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me (Mt 25:40). So I decided that I would help him. I saw some people trowing some coins into the cup he was holding in his hand, but I felt that this man needed something else.

In I went to the store and straight to the blankets. I picked a nice, warm one for my beggar. I even spent some time choosing the color. I took the blanket with me to pick the pair of trousers for myself. I took it with me to the fitting room as well. While trying on some jeans I decided that I'd also get him a hot chocolate and engage in a short conversation with him.

Before lining up to pay, I went to the door to double check if my beggar was still there, but he was already gone. I ended up paying for the jeans only and left the blanket in the store.

Who was that man? Was he a person really in need or one of those who unfortunately fall victims of organized crime to collect money for their masters like the poor boys depicted in Slumdog Millionaire? One thing is for sure: one way or the other he was a person in need, Christ present in the street for me.

Was God only testing my generosity and promptness to give? I don't know, but I wish I had acted faster.

I confess(ed)

I went to have confession the other day. I had been meaning to go for some time now, but it was quite hard to find a chance. In fact, I did not even go to any parish, but I just took advantage that my boss at the school is a priest.

You would imagine that in the "Catholic Ireland", which sent missionaries by the hundreds all over the world, you could just go into any church any time and find priests confessing. This is not the case. In most churches confession is available only on Saturday mornings for about 30-45 minutes, depending on the demand.

If you are not so fortunate as to have a priest boss (which is not always an advantage), you really need to plan out well your penitential day. My wife and I like to organize it this way. The whole family goes to church for mass. Mom goes to confess, dad takes the kids to the playground, who can't wait in silence anymore after mass. Then mom hurries to playground, dad runs back to church as fast as he can to find the priest in the confessional. This works most of the time. We like to organize our confessions on the same day. It is definitely a great way to strenghten our marriage.

As for this time, my wife went to confession alone today. And I did not have to break a sweat for my absolution either.